It is NOT about the nail
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Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalms 139:23-24)
A few days ago I came across this video. (Hosted by Youtube, so the video might not be accessible in all countries)
I love these kinds of videos. They are very entertaining, but they really speak truth int our lives.
Heart attitudes REALLY get exposed in marriage. It's easy to hide when we are single. But in marriage we just have to face the ugliness in our own hearts. There's no hiding anymore. There's no running away. There are only two extremes: Face realities about the state of your heart. Or separation. There's nothing in between, at least not long term.
Our hearts are really difficult to understand. Since I became a Christian I knew that God looks at our hearts. I knew that we need to examine ourselves. I knew that it is possible to do the right things on the outside, but at the same time have wrong heart motives and actually offend God. I knew all that. But it took me years to actually admit that I was one of them. I spare you the details. But just to say: My motives to serve God were heavily intertwined with selfish motives, like the need for recognition by men and worldly success.
Since this experience in ministry, I walk through life differently. And I try to find my deepest motivations for the things that I am doing. Especially when "things go wrong". That's often the time when things become obvious. When things go well, it's easy to wear the "Good Christian" mask. But when things go wrong, emotions rise, fear and uncertainties set in,... that's when our hearts get exposed.
Marriage is one of those revealers. Because things do get rough in marriage from time to time. As one couple said: "You would think that the longer we are married, the easier things get. That's NOT the case. Sometimes things get even harder. But what does happen over time is that you learn to work together and stay together despite the circumstances that try to separate you."
How true that is.
So what can we learn from this funny video? Our hidden heart attitudes can really hurt us. I don't know what caused this woman to not acknowledge the nail in her head. (And it's certainly not meant to be interpreted that way) But I know what kinds of things cause me to react the same way this woman did. Sometimes it's my pride ("I can't admit to her now that I was wrong"). Sometimes I'm just ignorant. Or maybe I'm just so obsessed with my own agenda and my own way of looking at things that I simply can't get what she is trying to tell me. My wife sees clearly what's going on. She's trying to help me. But instead of allowing her to help me, I push her away because of my pride or frustration. And it all comes from wrong heart attitudes.
That's why Psalm 139 is such a beautiful Psalm. It speaks of how wonderfully and beautifully God created us. And how God searches our hearts. Not for His sake, He already knows us inside out. But for our sakes. So that we can repent of our wrong heart attitudes and God can purify our hearts for His purposes. The result won't just be a "happy life" for us. But it will be a life that God can use to build His kingdom through us.
Lord, help me to be a better husband, to be humble and listen to my wife when you speak through her into my life. Help me overcome my pride, my selfishness and my own agendas, and to simply embrace whatever you are speaking to me through her, even if it's uncomfortable at the moment.
God, search my heart. So I can be pure and you can do might works in and through me. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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